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Preparing for Divorce Mediation: 8 Ways to Avoid Being Unprepared

preparing for divorce mediation

According to the American Psychological Association, up to half of the marriages in the United States end in divorce. If you’re going to be part of that group, you may want to consider the divorce mediation process.  When the parties are open to meditation instead of litigation, it can help the parties reach a quicker and more amicable resolution.


Here Are Some things to consider when preparing for divorce mediation:

Are you preparing for divorce mediation? Start here.

1. Research and Pick the Right Mediators

First, you may want to interview a few divorce mediators to decide who is best fit for your family. Look for someone with experience who can help you work out your specific situation and issues.

Avoid choosing someone just because they’re the cheapest or closest to you. While that may be appealing, that mediator may not be as effective as one with a solid reputation.

A good mediator is always learning and should participate in regular training, even if they have years of experience. This is a good question to ask any potential mediator you’re looking to hire.

2. Do Your Homework

Adequately preparing for divorce mediation is essential. You should organize any relevant documents, such as tax statements, a list of assets, and similar files.

Make a folder for these things so that you can access them during the divorce mediation process. That way, you can make sure you don’t forget anything during a mediation appointment.

3. Set Goals

Setting realistic goals in advance of your divorce mediation is extremely helpful and allows you to proceed with intention.  If you can clearly articulate your goals and explore why these things are important to you beforehand, you will show up to mediation with greater confidence Knowing your goals will also help you stay focused during divorce mediation, so you can make the process smooth.

4. Keep an Open Mind

One of the benefits of mediation is that it allows the parties to think outside the box and develop creative solutions to address their specific needs.  But this process requires give and take on both sides, so the more open you are, the easier it will be.

Having an open mind can also help you stay calm during when preparing for divorce mediation and during the mediation itself. If something doesn’t go exactly the way you hoped , you’ll be better equipped to handle those challenges.

5. Take Care of Yourself

Divorce can be stressful, whether you’ve been married for a few years or a few decades.  While divorce mediation sessions are far less stressful than court appearances, they can be emotionally and physically taxing.   Give yourself time to relax before and after divorce mediation sessions .

Enjoy a nice night with a friend or your children. Cook yourself your favorite food or get food from a local restaurant. Do what you need to so that you can get through your divorce.

It’s this principle that inspired us to create A Becoming Divorce. (link to ABD)

6. Actively Participate in the Divorce Mediation Process

Make sure you schedule your divorce mediation so that you can be an active participant.  Put away your electronics so that you can avoid distractions and focus on what’s in front of you.

That way, you can talk things out with the other party, your attorney (if represented) and the mediator. You can ask questions and negotiate as necessary.

7. Normalize the Difficulty

Getting a divorce is never easy, whether you work with a mediator or not. Don’t be afraid of tackling this tough situation and reaching out for help when you need it.  We recommend having a community of support who understand what you’re going through.  That’s why we’ve created our own community to help navigate this process. 

Divorce may seem hard, but it can mean a new beginning for you and your family. Many people find that they feel happier after the divorce, so your hard work will be worth it.

8. Think About Your Kids

Preparing for divorce mediation when you have kids can be even more difficult. Give your children as much time and attention as you can. Spend time with them after school or on the weekends.

If they have questions, answer them in an age-appropriate way. Make sure your kids know that you aren’t ignoring them and that you value them and their opinions.  

Want to Consult A Divorce Mediator in NC?

Are you looking at divorce mediation guided ways to consider if mediation is right for you? Consult a divorce mediator to see if the process is right for you.

Then, you can schedule mediation to navigate the divorce process. Sooner than you think, you can get through your divorce without excessive arguing or other issues.


Getting a divorce can be overwhelming and stressful, but taking the time to prepare for divorce mediation will help the process. You can use these ways to prepare for divorce mediation and get through it with ease.

Preparing for Divorce Mediation FAQs

If you’re still looking for advice for divorce mediation, you may have a couple of questions. Fortunately, some questions are common, and here are their answers.

What Can I Expect at My First Divorce Mediation?

At your first divorce mediation, the mediator may explain their process to you. However, you can generally expect to go over facts and background information regarding the divorce.

You and your spouse will then get to speak and share your opinion on issues in your relationship and divorce. Then, you will determine where you may need to negotiate. Your mediator might then help you come up with a plan of which issues to talk about during your other mediation sessions.

How Long Does a Mediated Divorce Take?

A mediated divorce may only need one mediation session if your divorce is simple. If you don’t have many assets and don’t have children, you may only need one meeting. The same is true if you and your spouse agree on how to divide things up.

However, you may need two to five sessions if your divorce is more complicated. Each session can last up to three hours. The more issues you have to talk through, the more sessions you will need to come to an agreement for your divorce.

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