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How To Get Help When You’re Struggling During Divorce: A 3 Step Process To Making Life Easier

CoKo Blog Post

Guest Contributor: Courtney Kovaks

Would you believe asking for help demonstrates strength rather than weakness?  Unfortunately, probably not.


Social psychologist Heidi Grant explored this phenomenon in her book “Reinforcements: How to Get People to Help You”.  It boils down to fear of rejection.

We think about all of the reasons why someone won’t want to help us…instead of focusing on the COSTS. The cost of not asking for help and even the cost of the person not helping us.

At the end of the day, people don’t like saying “no” when asking for something. And surprisingly enough, people like us MORE when we ask for help. 

In fact, helping others is a big self-esteem boost. So you’re actually giving them a gift!


Now, how do you ask for help?

Be specific about what you want. Beginning your request with “would you do me a favor” without explaining what that favor is before they have to commit is super controlling, according to Grant. 

And those people who rejected you in the past? They are dying for another chance to help – whether it’s to rebuild your relationship or the timing is better. 

We’re all hardwired to serve and we each have unique gifts and talents to offer!


CoKo Concierge

I discovered that I have the unique ability to find the best and most trustworthy resources available. Whether it’s mobile detailing or fixing an appliance, I’ve got “the list” that rivals anything Angie (now Angi) has put together for Charlotte.

I created CoKo Concierge in 2017 because I learned firsthand that while women can certainly do anything, we absolutely can’t do everything – at least without losing our joy.  

Yes, doing it all has a price. One of the most powerful things you can do during times of overwhelm or intense emotional duress is to delegate. I like to call it “taming the chaos”.

Here’s the quick and easy three step process!

  1. Make a list of all of your responsibilities (and many may be NEW responsibilities). 
  2. Identify the ones that have to be done by you. 
  3. Delegate your car’s annual inspection, vet visits, weekly grocery shopping, etc. to your personal concierge.

Even when you have Charlotte’s top divorce attorney Claire Samuels on your side, managing your divorce process can take an emotional toll.

I’m here to do everything I can to support you and give you the time you need to manage your stress so that you can be as healthy for your family as possible. 

“Courtney has taken care of my house, my pets, and my child. She has always been timely, professional, reliable, and sweet:) She is like family. I would highly recommend Courtney for any and all of the services she offers.” – Cindy Walsh



Clients may need additional support during their divorce. Claire Samuels Law, PLLC has curated a community of the best coaches, therapists and other professionals dedicated to supporting you through your divorce process and beyond.

Claire Samuels Law, PLLC works with you to resolve your legal issues while also providing the resources and experts you need to facilitate the healthiest process for you and your family.

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